Monday, September 22, 2014

Embracing hyperspace, or not

A headline that failed: "have you embraced the new Instagram Hyperspace app yet?"

By Braden Kowitz (Hugs!) [CC-BY-SA-2.0
via Wikimedia Commons
Seriously? Embraced?

First: you can call Instagram an app if you wish, but that's a misnomer. It's a thief.

When you post an image, the metadata in your photo tells Instagram (and its corporate overlord, Facebook) where and when the image was created. Algorithms comb the image for clues about your buying habits and likes. The image's information becomes something InstaFacebook can re-sell to marketers.

I don't embrace thieves.

If anything, InstaFacebook has you in more than an embrace. It's got you in a headlock.

Second, Hyperspace: compressed time-lapse videos that make the best footage look like it went through a cappuccino machine. I could do this with a $75 digital camera, but I prefer high-quality videos that lovingly showcase my scenes, or my clients' products.

Third: From a prose perspective, I don't "embrace" software or apps. I use them. They are appliances. 'Embrace' suggests you have an emotional investment in an app.

You don't, do you?

I embrace people. I can embrace some beliefs, ideas, and philosophies. I cannot embrace an app.

PR and marketing copywriters possess a vast Dopp kit of prosaic words -- passion, embrace, companion, etc. -- for tech pursuits. And, I'm a fierce user of technology. But neither you nor I truly embrace these appliances. Unless you go to sleep with an iPhone under your pillow.

And if that's true, consider re-thinking your priorities. Embrace life. Not tech.